Include The Children In Your Vows | St. Simons Island Wedding Planner

If you are planning to marry someone with children, you may be thinking of including them in your wedding ceremony.  You can include your children in the vows and can do it in a unique way to make them feel special. 

Although most couples use traditional wedding vows, sometimes they make changes to them that reflect their own personalities and goals for their marriage.   Including your children in your wedding vows is a good way to show the children they are a vital part of the newly formed family. 

Most weddings that involve children in the ceremony usually have them in roles of the wedding party, leaving the vows just for their parents. This gives the children an important role in the wedding but they are not included in the vows.  By including them in the vows, it gives them a feeling of responsibility and belonging to the new family. 

Most of the time, the couple chooses to add extra lines to their vows that says they will promise to love the children and be a good step-parent.   Other couples are more detailed with the wording.  There are more than a few ways to include the children in the vows. 

I heard of one wedding ceremony where the groom and new step-father exchanged vows with his soon to be new teenage step-daughter.  He promised to scare all of her boyfriends away and she promised to only bring boyfriends home that he would hate.  Not exactly traditional vows, but it did set a humorous tone for their relationship.  The new step-father and new teenage step-daughter, together, wrote their own unique vows.

Vows between a soon to be step-mother and step-daughter were to respect the other’s love for the groom and father and to respect the other’s space.  The step-mother promised to always help nurture the relationships in the step-daughters life including the relationship with her biological mother.   In essence, they set ground rules or boundaries within the vows. 

Many couples each have children of their own and sometimes even the children will exchange vows with each other.  This can become a little comical because the girls may vow to not borrow the others clothes without permission and the boys may vow to not pick on their soon to be new sisters.  Whether they live up to those vows or not, might be debatable, but they are given in faith and it definitely makes all the children feel good about their importance in the new family unit. 

Parents would never want their children to feel as though they were an afterthought in their parent’s new marriage and family.  By including your children in the vows and giving them an active part in the marriage vows, they will feel as if they are an important part of the new family. 

Sometimes, very young girls will receive a ring from the new step-parent as a token of love to them.  It is also a very sweet touch added to the ceremony. 


Remember, there are no set rules regarding how you go about the vows to include your children.  The most important thing is that they are included in the vows and the life of their new parent.  Including them is a perfect way to show them that they are wanted in your life and your family together.

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