Got cold feet? Contemplating “Runaway Bride”?
There are many stories of brides having cold feet and no one wants to be listed on the headlines as the next Runaway Bride, either! It’s normal to have those pre wedding jitters, but make sure that’s what it is before you call the whole thing off.
One reason not to call the wedding off, is that you may just be buckling from all the pressure. Let’s face it, we all know that planning a wedding is very stressful and you’re bound to be having much anxiety about all the items on your wedding checklist. Think about whether you are stressed about all the wedding planning or about the marriage, itself. Before you allow your nerves to be more than you can handle, remember that you can always elope.
Another reason not to call the whole thing off is you may just be having some petty differences between the two of you. Just because he leaves his dirty socks on the floor is no reason to call it quits! If it’s a really big deal to you, discuss it with him in a reasonable manner. Yes, it can be annoying, but definitely not worth calling off the engagement.
If your time under the covers hasn’t been exactly lighting your fire, don’t worry…. Couples usually go through a temporary lull in the bedroom and it’s perfectly normal during any time of unusually high stress. Don’t forget that you’ll both be on your honeymoon very soon and fireworks are bound to light up the night!
You may also be thinking of the change you’ll no doubt be facing when you go from “single” to “married”. You’re bound to be excited about being married, but still, there may be some uncertainty with being a married woman. This new life is a partnership with another person and all your decisions and actions will have effect on them, as well. These thoughts can cause much anxiety and many brides –to-be will feel they must be making a big mistake because of these thoughts. All of these feelings are completely normal and are just part of the emotional changes that women experience during the engagement period.
On the other hand, you may be having symptoms that indicate something more serious. In this case, you are better off to postpone or break off the engagement. You don’t want to stand at the altar with doubts in your mind.
Make sure you have taken time alone to think about a few things. Make sure you are completely sure you are in love with your fiance’. Never, never, never get married for any reason other than love. Forget that your biological clock may be ticking… forget that you need an extra income to help support you and your child… forget that your Mother and Father are ecstatic that you are finally marrying a really good guy. When all is said and done, nothing else matters except that you are in love for the rest of your life. Your marriage will not survive without love.
If you genuinely feel you are having serious reservations during the first year or less of being together, it may mean you still need time to get to know each other better. Why not consider postponing the date until you feel more secure in the fact that you know your partner completely. Some couples consult a therapist during this time to make sure they have resolved any problems before saying their “I do’s”.
Some relationships have even more serious problems. If you are facing any of these issues in your relationship, you should seek counseling and hold off any discussion of marriage.
- Sexual orientation – your fiancé‘s sexual orientation is different than what he originally led you to believe.
- Abuse – physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual.
- Money – conflicting attitudes and habits that your partner is unwilling to discuss or resolve.
- Deception – cheating, stealing, lying.
- Religion – conflicting beliefs that your partner is unwilling to discuss or resolve.
- Irreconcilable family differences – differing plans for having or raising children.
- Addictions – drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling etc.
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