I would say that my husband, Minor and I have one of the most tender of love stories and longest of marriages of many couples, these days. Our relationship began less than a year before we married, 37 years ago in 1977.
To this day, we still smooch, hold hands, wrap our arms around each other, and still give each other that special wink and smile that only the two of us “get”.
If you were to ask me what is the secret to a happy, loving, successful marriage, I could answer in one word… “Communication.”
Our love story began just like any other. We met through a mutual friend, saw each other a week or so later within a group of others and just made a connection. I may not have given him a second thought, but he was so dad gum nice to me, I couldn’t ignore it. After 3 months of dating, I decided to take some awesome advice from my mama. She said, “If you want him, you can have him.” And well, the rest is history! He still chuckles when I tell that story, because he thinks it was his idea. Ha!
We experienced all the struggles most couples have. Finances, careers, children, relatives, and one that we had no idea would change our lives forever…serious illness. At 37 years old, Minor had a heart attack and nearly died during the heart surgery that followed.
It changed the way we related to each other. We are each others best friend. We trust each other with our lives. We live for each other.
In the beginning, Minor will agree that he was pretty much “old school” and kept his feelings hidden. He was of the belief that if you just forget about it, it will go away. Thing is, it never goes away. It sits there and gets worse. We figured out how to say things to each other, the right way. It’s lessons that every married couple should know in order to hold their relationship together.
We had to realize that things could be said differently to each other. Instead of nagging or being accusatory and ignoring a problem, we had to communicate by talking openly.
It’s sad that so many people break up, their loving relationships end and divorce happens when, if there was proper communication, they would be able to hold on to what they had in their early years together. We made it through, so I know that everybody else can, too.
We share everything. We made a commitment to each other. Those promises are for a lifetime together, and, because we respect each other, we will keep them forever. Talking openly together about everything might start out difficult, but, once you do it, it becomes a part of who you are.
To sum it up…We laugh. We joke. We kid each other. We want our marriage to last forever. Talk over everything, and you’ll find you can keep that communication open. We still miss each other when we are apart. We couldn’t imagine life without each other.
Communication is a significant part of intimacy, along with acceptance, affection, and appreciation. At some point later on, I plan to blog about acceptance, affection, and appreciation, individually. Please feel free to subscribe and if you know of anyone that would benefit, feel free to share.